A village, North West of Newbury is periodically raided by cricketers led by many different captains during the summer months.
Desperate, the village team travel to a nearby town (Newbury) to buy bats to defend themselves. They approach a veteran batsman, Slothy (Andrew Barr). He tells them bats alone will not do them any good; they will need pads as well! They ask him to lead them, but Slothy rejects them, telling them a single man is not enough. They keep at him though, and he eventually gives in. He recruits men, though the pay is a pittance (normally a jug of beer if someone takes a few wickets or scores a few runs)....
First to answer the call is the hot-headed, inexperienced Billy Whizz (Joe Brown), but he is rejected. Our John (John Westbrook), an old friend of Slothy, joins because he believes Slothy is looking for promotion into Division 2. Spinders (Alex Hutchinson) signs on after going broke from becoming a pilot. Other recruits include Herro (Ian Herrington), a powerful gunfighter of Great Shefford descent who is also broke, Isaac (John Tempest), fast and deadly with his blade, and Unjust (Will Herrington), who is on the run and needs someplace to lie low until things cool down. Billy Whizz trails the group as they ride east, and is eventually allowed to join them.
Even with seven, the group knows they will be vastly outnumbered by the opposition. However, their expectation is that once the opposition know they will have to fight, they will decide to move on to some other unprotected village, rather than bother with an all-out battle. Upon reaching the village, the group begins training, ok, more like a little bit of light catching practice. Billy Whizz finds a woman he is attracted to, Jess (Spinder’s Missus!), and Herro befriends the children of the village, although he can never imagine himself as one of the villagers themselves. Although these paternal tendencies will have fatal consequences, the villagers come to respect and even admire him. Unjust, meanwhile, struggles with nightmares and fears the loss of his batting and bowling skills.
The opposition decided to bat first in hope of a large score but they are disappointed to find that they cannot find the gaps in the field even with only 5 fielders in the outfield. After a brief exchange (of 45 overs), the opposition are chased away with a score of 199-4. Later, Slothy, who is a slogger himself, and thus blends in, infiltrates the opposition's camp and returns with the news that the opposition will not simply be moving on, as had been hoped for. They are planning to return in full force (of 11 men!), as the opposition are also looking for their first win of the season.
The seven debate whether they should leave. Not having expected a full-scale war, some of the seven as well as some of the villagers are in favour of the group's departure. However, Slothy adamantly insists that they will stay. They decide to make a surprise raid on the opposition camp which starts off well with Our John and Isaac amassing 87 runs in 13 overs. The opposition captain spare the cricketer’s lives because he believes that they have learned that the division is not worth fighting for, and because he fears a League disciplinary if they are killed.
Despite the odds against them, and despite their betrayal by the villagers, all of Slothy’s group except Our John, who also falls just after Isaac, after scoring 70 with 101 on the board, decide to return and try to finish the job before the rain sets in (Our John refuses to go back when he learns there is no law in the rule book that allows him back in to bat). During the ensuing battle, Our John returns in the nick of time, but only to rescues Slothy from certain death or at least from getting wet from the torrential rain, and is mortally wounded. Herro is killed protecting his wicket on the last ball before the rain starts; Unjust over comes his fear of death and bowls superbly. Isaac is also slain for 29. Seeing the batman's bravery, the villagers overcome their own fear, grab whatever they can as weapons, and join the battle. The opposition are routed and the runs are flowing. The opposition captain is shot by Slothy; puzzled, he asks how a team with 7 players can score 139-2 in 26 overs and get a better run rate!! but dies without an answer.
As the three survivors leave, Billy Whizz decides to stay with Jess, but Spinders won’t let him. Slothy and Spinders ride away, pausing briefly at the graves of their fallen comrades. Slothy observes, "Only the farmers won. We lost. We always lose." Scratch that, he actually said “I cannot believe we got a winning draw with only 7 players and if the rain had not come down, we might have even won outright!!”
